Dmitry In Space

maker of stuff & trouble

THINGS YOU LEARN, WHILE FALLING APART

I started this blog to keep anyone that was interested, in the loop when it came to my writing. Somewhere along the way, it had turned into something else. Something more introspective. The writing became more personal.

And I haven't been keeping up with it to boot.

Most blog writers will tell you, that's typical. And I'm not going to make that fatal mistake of telling you that I shall do my very best, from now on, to keep this up to date. I can't and I won't. Just as I promised in the first ever post, this will continue to be sporadic. It doesn't matter. Moving on.

I keep writing. Though slower than The Cold Forever, The Nemesis Wave is taking form never the less. I'm about to break through and move from the first third of the book, into the middle. The characters had suffered losses. Tired, injured and separated, they are about to enter a world they could never have imagined. The story is about to move from a standard adventure novel into... well I'll leave it at that.

On the personal front, I had suffered some losses as well. If you'd read my previous blog posts, you know that I had some major set backs in my life. It has been a year since my wife and I had separated. It was as amicable as can be, though the hurt was no less real. No less jarring. 

No less dangerous. 

There is such a thing as moving on too quickly, I'm afraid. A lesson hard learned, by this over-confidant young lad. In retrospect, I jumped at the chance to move on, a bit too quickly. I didn't deal with the grief. Didn't let my emotions settle. I approached my next relationship, completely blind to the fact that it was an unstable star, about to go supernova. A mixture of bad timing, unprocessed sorrow and hard circumstances on both ends. 

Of course, it imploded. Of course it did. And everything suffered as the result. Work suffered. Relationships suffered. It snowballed and there was no way to stop it for quite some time. It killed me... and it killed me way too soon after my divorce. I was stuck in a loop. It was like ripping out the stitches of a fresh cut. 

And that's on me. All me. I should have known better. I should have treated this like I treat everything else. Research. Read. Study. Anticipate. Navigate. Win. 

Hind sight 20/20 of course. After all that, all I could do was continue to grow and learn from my experiences, whether they were positive or negative. Fortunately, I feel that I've reached that point where I'm kind of, sort of, normal again. I'd finally stabilized my tailspin. Pulled the crashing wreckage out of its nosedive. I don't feel like a raw nerve anymore. Nor am I simply numb. Just normal. Where I'm suppose to be.

-D